I'm not making these up. These are things that have actually been said to
me or people I know. Occasionally I've left names out to protect the
"Hi. I'm really high right now, and I was just wondering
if you would take
me home with you and let me be your teddy bear."
- random guy on the streets of Northampton,
"Seeking friends for random acts of passion through
on our massaging chair"
- a personal ad
"Together we can make mud..."
- a Cancer (Water sign), speaking to a Virgo and a Taurus
(both Earth signs)
"You're going to have a really nice body when you're
- paraphrase of a comment said to me in a Swiss goth
club, by a guy who thought I was seventeen
"Tu veux bouger un peu?" ("Do you want to
move a little?")
(Maybe I just misunderstood
his French... but I don't think so)
- another guy in the same club.
He was trying to ask me, in
his own personal French-slang sort of way, if I wanted
to dance with
him, but I thought he was asking me to move over so there would be
for him to sit down... Ah, the joys of language barriers.
- actually said to me and my girlfriend by some random guys as
we walked down a street in Amsterdam
"C'est mon fantasme..." ("It's my fantasy...")
- drunk guy in a French goth club, to me and my
"What's a guy like you doing in a dog collar?"
- Jace, in a club, to Joe
"It was a cat collar!"
- Joe, later, to me
"Je sens que je vous aime de l'amour le plus
- Julien, a character in Stendhal's Le Rouge et le
Noir, to a woman he has met five minutes ago and never sees again
"Sweetheart, I need a girl like you. Not just for a
moment - for forever!"
(okay, so this one's not from real life. Deal.)
- older Dominican man in Washington Heights, as I passed
"Hey Cinderella, how YOU doin'?"
- random guy in a car as I crossed the street in NYC
Take me back to Beth's Personal Stuff!